It’s time to leave shcool, which means I have to think about lots of things as an adult (I’m already an adult about the age, but on some aspects I’m still a kid, I’m afraid of the adult’s world). Job, my future, our future, the real things and also virtual things, the face things of me and parents… So many things! I hate them, but I have to face them. Now, I’m a little confused. I don’t know what I really want. I want to be an officer, but I’m not good at the exam and the interview, I have no confidence in myself. I don’t want to be a technician, but it seems I have no other choice, though its salary is very low, and the job will be hard.
What should I do ??? The things I can do now are looking for a job and to prepare the exam for the civil servant (may be not a proper word). But there is a problem. I’m really really lazy now, not a little lazy! I don’t think I can pass the exam, so I have no passion to prepare, once I have no preparation, I have no confidence, then a malignant cycle runs! How pathetic I am!
Now, I’m fragile, so please do not force me, and I will adjust my state, my emotion, my thinking and my action. I won’t disappoint all of you, just believe me, I will try my best, from now on! Thank you for your understanding.
I think most of the graduate students will feel the same way as me, so when my friends are going to graduate, I will support them in the right way, and avoid talking about some sensitive topics until I am sure that they want to talk about it.
I don’t like to put my emotion on board, all I want to do is to bring happy and positive attitude to people around me, so this may be the only chance I gave to myself to open my heart in public.
Anyway, written is written, and finally I want to thank my sweetheart, (this poor guy suffers a lot due to my short-temper ˆ–ˆ). I can’t image what kind of life it would be if you’re not here by my side. I cannot handle all these annoying things without you, so thank you very much, honey, and I will be there whenever you need me.
At the end, just wish everyone have a gelivable new year !